Dear Sid:
Sid is neither your full name nor your pet name. You were named Siddhartha, by your mother and me, after the enlightened Siddhartha Gautama Buddha. You are fondly called Shastri by your friends, which is fine with us too. In any case there a sage-like quality associated with it.
In this note however, I am going to call you Sid for some similarities in the character that played Siddhartha (named Sid for short) in the movie Wake up Sid which I saw a couple of years ago. (I sometimes wonder if the scriptwriter had picked up the theme watching our family). Both Sids love photography - both share a circle of good and caring friends – both display an infinite human potential for excellence but are both hazy about their respective future, their role in it, and the true meaning of a meaningful life! The only difference being: the Sid in the film does find a girlfriend who loves him for who he is; which I am sure, you too shall, at the right point of time in your life.
And here is my plea to you my dear son: Wake up Sid! And the time is now!
I was young once and I understand the fascination of finding meaning in a “Cause” at that youthful age. I recall the heady days of my youth when Marx was my best friend; I developed a rabid distaste for the “System”; found energy in words that fueled heated debates and expended that energy using lathi on the playgrounds where someone taught us the words of Mr. Savarkar; some of my nearest friends even got arrested and hit the jails during the days of Emergency in 1976-78.
But today neither have my friends lasted nor the words nor the lathi.
However, this was also the time I developed the taste for reading books of every kind, and, developing an ‘alternate view’ to look at anything – an ideology, a political party, social work organization – just anything. It is important to know what is ‘on the other hand’ to get and size up a reality. This ‘other view’ gives you a skeptical tolerant view of life that you do not completely comprehend just now.
It also gives you a balance of seeing the total truth of any situation. Do you recall the times of 2002 in Gujarath when people regarded the ‘majority frenzy’ as a revolution, and later on subsequently when Raj Thakarey was the best thing that happened to Marathi people since the non-Marathi were removed and isolated?
Often the ‘other view’ is also the ‘other face’ of a political party. Remember the political party that decries the ‘unabated corruption’ and shedding crocodile tears on the corruption menace; but had no qualms in the past about preferential allotment of Petrol pumps?!!!!
However the truth is, that, although each political party professes a different ideology the glue that binds the clan is unabashed corruption. All political parties are united to support Anna Hazare’s ideals and also united to stall the passing of the Lokpal bill or the bill related to transparency in managing sports activities.
I know that corruption is going to stay in India like menacing weeds inextricably attached to ‘growth’. Nobody has got that ruthlessness to remove these weeds from the roots.
We are in search of a party whose cementing material is “service to society”. But that is indeed a truly utopian dream.
If not by the way of politics, I can then understand your need to want to serve the society by joining an NGO. But remember, the NGOs too have an ‘other view’ and ‘other face’. Recall the book by Anil Shidore that reiterates his experiences at Oxfam - replete with the stories of corruption?
I am not dissuading your from doing anything you like but begging of you to develop that ‘other view’ before you plunge into anything you do. I have no problem with you wanting to serve the society in whichever way you like. All I ask of you is to scrutinize the path that you choose before you set your foot on it. This is an attempt to provoke you to think objectively rather than being swept away by the emotion of the ideology. Emotion is good but only in a ‘reasonable’ measure. Temper it with rational thought.
You are young and therefore vulnerable to emotional manipulation of every kind. Especially of those social workers who tell you to disobey your parents because you are now adults. Are you really an adult my son? Are you?
I am not against dreaming. In fact dreams are the fuel of your future. But I am against you serving someone else’s dream. At least let your dreams be your own. And you will not dream fantastic dreams unless you acquire a reasonable degree of mastery in something you love doing. It pains me to see young, smart and intelligent youngsters move away from the mainstream to go off to collect data for someone else’s projects and find themselves disillusioned after a couple decades in this quest.
You have yourself witnessed how some tender aged youth get slaughtered in this process or tend towards suicide. In fact, some of these cases are our acquaintances. Remember the case of a talented writer who spent the sizable time of his life working as an editor of a mouthpiece of a religious party in Assam who was later unable to gather money, reputation or a decent girl to marry? Or that of an IAS officer who gave up his life for a ‘cause’ that has evaporated in the process? How many cases should I remind you which you already know?
I am not saying this to de-motivate you or anyone. All I am saying is follow your own compass that is dictated by your likes, dislikes, competencies and capabilities.
If photography is what you love, which I know you do, go get the best education for it, be recognized as one of the finest of artists in that world. You have tremendous sense of how to frame an image, how to make a portrait, how to photograph Nature! Pursue journalism or wild-life photography, or Television, anything where this talent is relevant. Don’t think of one of 5,00,000 appearing for the tests for entrance to these fields. Think of the 50 that get selected. Go for the best and do the best. I am confident you CAN! I have more faith in you than you have in yourself.
If you want to serve the society there are several models to do it. First get a great education, the best in the field of your liking. Then make the money you need to have to be able to pursue your dream. Who says earning money is a crime? My son, there is nothing wrong with making money. There is something wrong in keeping all of it to yourself. Who is stopping you from earning Rs. 1000 Cr? Donate Rs. 999 Cr. And keep balance Rs. 1 Cr for your life expenses. All I ask of you is to have enough to keep you independent to make that choice of the social work of your liking dictated by your conscience.
Then go and pursue the service of society. If your skill helps you use it in its service, well and good. If not, you can always learn it along the way. Perhaps that way you will have a great network of contacts and friends who will help you achieve what you want in social work.
Wake Up Sid!
Hope you do not blame your mother and me for this excessive indulgent interest and concern for wellbeing. And, we also hope you do not treat this as bullying. All we are trying to do is to make you see the Life’s reality as we have had the advantage of seeing and make you see the ‘other side’ of all things.
Please I plead you to see this as a genuine desire to see you succeed in whatever it is that you decide to do. Materially we do not expect anything from you. But would you blame us if we do not want our baby to fall a prey to foxes who exploit the innocent and the uninitiated into the world of foolery where in the name of ‘serving the nation’ they are sucking your juices to the bone? This is not to say that all NGOs are like these, but be watchful and vigilant to what you choose.
We are aware that we are merely the bows that may give you a direction, strength and a destination; but the arrow is you. You have to decide. You have to act. You have to pierce the target.
With all our love and concerns and blessings we stand behind you in unison.
Wake up Sid.
All of you Sids in this world –
WAKE UP!
Your father,
Milind
