Priorities in Life

It began raining in the morning when we started to go home from the shop. Nitin and me. The quarter end as well as the year end had forced us not to take a single day holiday since start of December. That day was 1^st April. We haven’t had the strength of realizing it. Hot water bath, two cups of hot coffee, omelet bread sandwich and 24 hours’ continuous sleep. These were the only thoughts. We were in the shop, continuously active since last 5 days (and obviously 4 nights) without sleep and sometimes without food. But hunger and thirst were secondary issues. We were foot soldiers in those days – me a shop engineer and Nitin a QAC engineer.

At midnight the last of the trucks had left and even though we were relaxed after that, we decided to go early in the morning. The rest of the night we couldn’t sleep and were very highly elated but with empty head.

I told Nitin to talk with me continuously while sitting at the back of my scooter till I drop him. His home was 2 km. ahead of mine and to travel a total of only 20 km from shop via scooter was the most difficult task on that day. Nitin was not only talking with me while I was driving the scooter but also was asking me some questions and expecting the answers! That way I was also alert. I shall never forget this goodness of his throughout of my life – for even though it was raining heavily at this odd day of odd season and even though it was morning, we were having bouts of sleep so frequently that we had lost the safety feeling to judge the other vehicles’ speed and to monitor my scooter’s speed.

This incident was one of many. My children never had me when they required me the most. My wife never showed me her un-satisfaction regarding meeting her expectations. My father and mother used to tell me to exert less.

But I was two feet above ground. We all employees were. We used to co-relate everything to our hard work. Rather we used to be perversely proud of our hardships. Even though the hardships of only very few got highlighted! Real blue collar people do not have marketing skills.

What is more important?

Many years have passed since then. Technological advances have revolutionized many old concepts. Job manufacturing cycle time is reduced to 1 month from 3 months or 10 second from 3 minutes. But astonishingly this concept of hard work is still prevalent in many industries. Now it has also entered in software industries where the whitest collars work.

Very accidentally I realized one thing one day. Actually through some accident! I asked myself a question: “If I am permanently disabled unfortunately while on the job (Oh God, never let this happen to me or anyone) or returning from the job, will the Company I am working with will take care of me for the rest of my life?”

Once I was out of the shock of the answer I derived myself through some experiences, I decided to shape up my life through MY OWN INTERVENTION and move further.

My uncle, who was shifted to Pune from our native place due to heart attack, was admitted in the hospital and I had taken a forced leave for hospital visits and help. When he began to feel better, I joined my duties after 8-10 days. In the mean while the impression spread in the Company I was working then (by someone) was that I am not interested in the job. This is very painful. Unfortunately my uncle expired after 10-15 days at our home in the morning. I got the information (there were no mobiles then like the ones we use today) late in the evening since I was at Vendor’s place. One of my best friends Jaypramod brought me home. I loved my uncle. I remember remembering then how he used to take me to Panchgani on scooter and how he helped my brother to get settled.

One greatest change in my life happened in me on that day. Through shock! I lost my fear. Fear of anything. Fear of small things. Like fear of crossing the road, fear of talking, fear of laughing, fear of opposing the boss, fear of taking the decisions, fear of that Almighty God and mainly fear of death.

What small issues we take and fight within ourselves continuously? Here “we” may mean anything – from an individual to a country.

I began to express anything boldly thinking every day to be the last one within any given frame. On the contrary I was appreciated for my confidence, for my words, for my frankness, for my trustworthiness, etc. etc. and what not.

Lastly I want to conclude on one very important aspect in our life coming now and then. Time Management (and hence Stress Management). In one phase of some years I was extremely busy. If someone approached me, I used to tell him, “I don’t have even a minute to talk with you, let us discuss tomorrow.” So many phones, so many paper works, so many meetings, and so many new responsibilities, how should I derive time? Sometimes I used to take lunch at 3.00 pm and the other times I used to take too much workload at home to complete it by night or if controllable, used to stay late. The cleverest of some guys used to talk with me on phone.

One person in particular took advantage of this situation. He wanted to arrange some meeting with one external agency to tackle some problems of IT and used to tell everyone that he couldn’t arrange the meeting because I am busy. One day my boss told me to arrange that meeting and categorically to say every one that I am free and anybody can approach me at any time. This solved many teething problems of mine. The IT meetings after that declaration were postponed because the external agency didn’t have the time. Even if someone contacted me when I was busy, I used to tell him that I shall contact him at 2.52 pm. And then I really used to do that.

This also gave birth to many new inventions. I don’t remember when this thought came in my mind first. It is the most simple and the most effective way of time management. I decided that I shall work only for 5 hours a day as a routine work and 3 hours will be strictly mine. Many times this does not happen. But this gave me an opportunity to always be on the lookout for shortcuts and effectivities.

Today I say that I am always free no matter what the work conditions are.  Every evening I also go in a garden along with my wife, mother and daughter for a walk - I used to feel it a luxury once upon a time.

I know you will be there

It was decided. The date was fixed. 10^th November 2008. (the date is fictitious – but then what is in a date?). I got admitted in the hospital. It is a very good multi-storied, multi-speciality hospital. But that is not all. There are a few special breed of doctors who are associated with it right from its inception. They do not crush the patient with their mere presence. One immediately feels at ease. These doctors have made the hospital’s foundation very strong.

The doctor operating on me is of that type. Very accidentally he utters the technical words. If he meets you on a bus stand or in a restaurant, you will very easily begin conversation with him and he, with his reactions and responses, will make you at ease. But he is also an extra-ordinary surgeon. And he is human. Someday, more about him.

The time of operation was 12 Noon and I reached hospital at 7.00 am sharp as was told. The best indication about the homely feel is when you observe that nobody is following the time. I was on bed by 8.30 am which by any standards is a good achievement.

At around 9.30 am when I was reading a newspaper in a totally relaxed way, my concentration got disturbed by a question “How are you?”

“I am fine.” – Reflexively my answer went. Then I saw.

There she was.

With big spectacles. And a very big smile on her face.  A very very sweet face with sparkling intelligent eyes. Surreal but Nice! (Please see the movie “Noting Hill” to understand the meaning of ‘Surreal but Nice’)

“Have you eaten anything since morning?”

“Not since yesterday night.”

“Good. You will be taken inside by 11.00 am. I am going to assist the main doctor in this surgery. Prior to that I went through all your pre-operation medical reports. They are okay. Don’t worry much about the operation.”

“I am not worrying since I am accustomed with the procedure. I have exposed myself to many operations in the past.” – and I explained her the nature of earlier operations.

“Then the task becomes more easy. You will go home in next 2 days.”

This was the first interaction between us.

In the operation theater, just before loosing my sense under the influence of sedatives, I thought that I saw her - though there was a big mask on her face.

That day it took longer for me to recover through the nausea caused by the ether in my body system. Hence I don’t remember much about who came and what I talked. Once I asked to my wife, “Where is she?” My wife thought that I am enquiring about our daughter and I didn’t have the mental strength to organize my thoughts and put them up in an unobtrusively logical way.

The next day she entered the room at 9.30 in the morning. My wife had just left to home and my daughter was there in the room.

“How are you feeling?”

“Excellent”

“Is there any pain?”

“No, not much”

“I know about the pain – even though you are telling me this.”

One simple flat statement, and I opened up. I told her about this pain and that pain while shifting positions at night in sleep. I told her that I didn’t want to tell her much about the pains since I have assumed that they will be there for some time till I become normal. I don’t remember much about any other nonsense I uttered. Later, I didn’t have the daring to ask my daughter too.

Suddenly I asked, “Were you there inside during operation?”

“Yes. I assisted it. It is a very good surgery.”

“You saw it all?”

“Yes”.

I don’t know why I felt suddenly awkward. What did she see? It is the greatest draw-back I have. I can’t hide my thoughts. Anybody can read me. And how can I escape from these sparkling eyes?

Women have that tremendous sense which men don’t. Sensing this awkwardness, she immediately left.

Again she came the next day at 9.30 am. I was waiting. What is becoming of me? She enquired, as usual, about any problems I faced in past 24 hours. I told her the progress I had made. That morning at 6.00 am I had walked 3 rounds on that 5^th floor of the hospital! Definitely it must be an achievement since I saw the admiration in her eyes.

One unexpected burst in my mind – is she also eager to come in my room and talk? This day I was sensing the sparks. I was sensing them in both the directions. My this feeling cannot be described properly in words since we have been taught and groomed from generation to generation to think only towards a specific direction for given stimulii. At that instant I felt to hug her and kiss her. I even began to frame my question “Is it weird to tell you that I have the urge to hug you?” Originally this question type was not mine, it was borrowed from the movie “In the land of women”.

The question remained in my mind. Instead I asked, “May I ask your name? I haven’t asked so far”.

“I am Dr. …………… and I work as a Surgeon in this hospital” She told me her name.

What is it in the name? Even if it is XYZ?

“Today by 12 Noon you will get discharged”.

I was on flat earth, on my cot in my room.

“Right. Very good. I too am eager to go home.”

“You take care for next two weeks. Don’t lift weights for next three months. Also don’t drive a 2 wheeler within this period.”

I was trying to prolong the conversation.

“When should I come to remove the stitches?”

“The main doctor will visit you today and he will tell you the date. But it will be one week from today”

There came this point when there was no further conversation and she left.

The next week I went to the hospital and got the stitches removed. I saw her the last time on that day. She gave a note to me for preparing the certificate in another department for joining period as required by me to be given in my Company. It was an extremely busy day with a churn out of lots of patients in the OPD and we both didn’t have the time to talk.

Today, after so many months later, when I think of this whole episode, I feel that whatever happened, it must be in my mind and necessarily one sided. She must be doing her duty and her behavior must be the same everywhere. I felt that it is special for me, and only for me. I became selfish. We met only four times and the talk was very normal, as it should be.

Many of us must have experienced that some times when we are under too much stress, someone elderly recognises this, comes near us and just pat us to show that 'he understands'. The relief we feel is tremendous!

She had that rare something, similar to that pat, which made my days as special ones.

Where ever you are, I know that you will be there whenever I need you the most.