Garudmaachi: Conquering FEAR

 

[Praj Industries Ltd. is a Company which has evolved on vision and as well as the rich embedded values. To pursue its goals, it gives highest importance to training and uplifting its employees to face the challenges and thereby meeting its objectives. Growth of its personnel and as well as its own growth automatically gets achieved. I am always grateful for getting such varied learning opportunities in this company]

For many years I thought that I am fearless. I did not have any fear of any kind of unexpected event. This feeling helped me many times in remaining calm and taking composed, instantaneous decisions and implementing them. I always boastingly used to ask, “What is the meaning of ‘fear’? I do not know the meaning of ‘fear’”.

An event was in pipeline, arranged by our Company – Praj Industries Ltd. – and it was mostly for our Manufacturing Division, though the group was a mixed one, containing participants of other divisions as well. I heard that it was related to ‘Adventure Sports’. I had very little exposure to sports since my childhood except football (that too as a goalkeeper – do read http://onlybeingthere.blogspot.com/2012/01/match.html). Hence I was reluctant at first and started to say, “Who will look after the workshop? I will stay back!”. But it became clear immediately that I had to attend it.

The event was at Garudmaachi (http://www.garudmaachi.com/) and Mr. Vasant Vasant Limaye, founder of “High Places”, and an adventure sport enthusiast, is very meticulous and observant. His skills in analyzing the person’s or a group’s behavior through the exposure to different situations in the activities and comment on them for improvements were impeccable.

When we reached Garudmaachi, it was evening. There was one game we played that late evening and then it was dinner time.

I shall not explain here various games we played since it is best to experience them by attending these eye-opening sessions at Garudmaachi. One begins to know one’s own self in a best way and his/her required contribution in to building an integral and sustainable team.

From next day onwards our sessions of various games began. Everything was very well organized and all the Garudmaachi staff was very well trained, attentive, and organized.

For every kind of unique game, there used to be different small groups. Composition of these groups changed for different games and hence I had an opportunity to play with these varied groups. From last night’s game, I had a better idea of the requirements. By sheer luck, the group in which I belonged always won. Only thing which I persuaded the others in my group was not to be in the first three groups. Observing the game, understanding it, identifying the key factors of success, and strategically planning to win with attention to team synchronization points was the key. As it is a game, I again say that winning of all the teams in which I belonged was a pure luck!

The next day, we were brought in front of a four-five storied tower with a vertical wall. I heard the meaning of rappelling and decided that this game was not for me. Since there were many participants, I felt that my absence will go unnoticed. How wrong was I? Can anything get missed from VVL’s eyes?

Reluctantly I began to climb the stairs. When I climbed up, the first thing I did was to make a video clip of the beautiful surroundings.

Then, as the next two candidates were ready to climb down, I looked down and suddenly there was a big lump in my throat. I remember, even in that chilling cold, I was profusely perspiring. At a very unconscious level, I think, I decided that I am NOT going to climb down. Then I began to search in my mind for a suitable and respectable excuse. I couldn’t find any. As I began to move gradually towards the stairs back, one attendant noticed me and asked me why I am going down. I said that I am thirsty. He promptly gave me his water bottle!

With lots of persuasion of the attendants, I made myself ready to climb down. They had instructed to make myself perpendicular to that vertical wall once I stand on the open edge with all the ropes at their proper places and gradually release the rope from my left hand at the back and from my right hand at front and ‘simply walk on the wall backwards’. But when I stood on the edge and was trying to make myself perpendicular, I made a mistake to look down below and all the strength in my legs suddenly vanished. The next moment, I do not know how, I was again inside on that terrace. One can imagine what reflex actions must have happened from me. By this time, I had lost all the feelings related to shame. Let anyone think of anything. Let me be a talk of the town! It didn’t matter at that time.

VVL was seeing this from the bottom and after a few minutes I suddenly realized that he was standing next to me. I do not know when he climbed that four storied tower. He asked me very calmly about my feelings, my anxiety and my fear and I was telling him that I simply did not wish to do this. After a while, I calmed down and he said that there are two choices – either I can go back through the stairs or through rappelling, but I shall always remember this episode afterwards for many years including the choice I make just now. I do not know how, but his words propelled me and it worked! He also stationed one attendant below me to overcome my fear of fall and that is how I walked down.

The feeling of that walk was really wonderful, and every step down was like climbing vertically 100 feet up!

Once I reached the bottom, I heard clapping from all of my colleagues, as if I had done a great thing! However, instead of getting cheered up, I suddenly felt an overwhelming shame propelling me to a very depressing gloomy mood, though this phase was very temporary.

In the evening, we assembled and VVL asked us to share the experience one by one. It was an unique experience, and many said so. I simply said that it was wonderful. He asked me to explain further. Now what I can say?

He then narrated a story about his wife. She had not done proper rappelling earlier and when VVL came to know about this, he arranged it from the terrace of his building. She was very reluctant to do it and finally did it after a lot of persuasion from VVL. When he asked about her fear, she said that she did not have the fear of rappelling but felt reluctance by thinking of what the people around their building, watching this event with curiosity, may say!

It was a subtle cue and I grabbed it. I said that being an expert in welding, I checked the welding of the steel structure, the wounding of the ropes and was assured about the safety features. (A slight deviation from the subject matter: You boast that you are an expert in a particular field, then gradually people too begin to say the same about you and as years pass, you automatically become an authentic expert!)

I further said that I was not worried about falling if the fall results in sudden death. But what if I get crippled and cannot walk for the rest of my life? I will become dependent, I did not like this! My self-esteem will get compromised. This thought was troubling me.

I utilized the face-saving opportunity offered by VVL with this explanation. Now I think that he may have created the story about his wife just to soothe my self-esteem. His wife is also a mountaineer and trekking is one of her hobbies too.

Let me admit that the fear I felt was a very real and a naked feeling. Any kind of words and explanations cannot describe or diminish that feeling which I felt at that time. Much research is needed on this element called as “FEAR”. I also realized that I am not FEARLESS. Courage is not absence of Fear but one’s ability to overcome Fear! In future life, whenever I felt fear, I tried to reduce it by remembering this incident and how I came out of it with help of VVL. And this is the greatest gift given by him to me.

Swamini’s Lantern

For the past few days my daughter, Swamini, was behind her mother to bring the material for the Lantern she had in mind to make and use it during Diwali. Diwali was a few days away and she had seen one very beautiful big lantern in a nearby shop. Swamini had taken me on a different pretext in that shop one evening and showed it to me. It indeed was a real beauty, a big sphere of colourful handmade paper having a texture of interwoven lines creating delicate patterns. That lantern was definitely seeking attention and standing out from the crowd of all the other lanterns. She had firmly decided to make such a lantern.

Once decided, she immediately began to enquire and acquire knowledge about how it is made. For this, she took great efforts and the next few days she was so much deeply engrossed in her mission that it became her passion. She went to library, asked her craft teacher, searched internet, asked all the acquaintances she knew, even went to the shop again with her mother on the pretext of buying it and studied it thoroughly. Now she had a rough idea of how it is made. Then she listed all the material which will be required for the lantern- not only one lantern but five lanterns plus twenty small such lanterns, if in case the experimentation fails somewhere and also if in case the failures get repeated. Her list also contained thick paper, as an alternative, to make a conventional lantern, if the whole idea flops.

At long last, fed up with the perseverance of Swamini, her mother bought the material from Rawivar Peth, a place where you get wholesale rates. This material consisted of big and small spherical and egg shaped balloons, the best non-breakable bundle of thread, a plastic box of fevicol (adhesive), different type of handmade off-white papers, bulbs and bulb holders, electric wires, transparent colours, brushes and what not.

This was just two days before Diwali. Swamini was now anxious and excited to make it very fast. All the time she was repeating how she is going to make the lantern. Now was the time. That day, I came late from my office, my son was busy in his college submissions, and my mother and wife were busy in many other Diwali preparations. Her plan to make the lantern failed on that day.

The next day, the day prior to Narakchaturdashi, early in the evening, Swamini, mentally decided to act firmly and immediately, told her brother to help her in inflating the big spherical balloon brought only for lantern –

“You have the strength to inflate the balloon to big size. Will you help me Dada?”

Then it was turn of her mother-

“See, I am applying this fevicol solution by brush to the balloon, but it is not getting uniformly spread.”

My wife took the brush in her hand and applied a uniform coat. There were uniformly cut papers in small pieces. This arrangement she had already made. But it was found soon that a lot of more pieces were required and time was running out. Her grandmother came to her help and told her to cut the papers by hand instead of by scissors and that the beauty of the lantern may get enhanced if these papers of different colours are cut and pasted without following a pattern.

“How?” - My daughter asked.

Viju, her grandmother, did a wonderful job within minutes. Then the paper pieces were fixed on the balloon by my wife. It was my turn now. I wound the string on the balloon with whatever patience I had. Swamini again turned to her grandmother.

“Your drawing is good. You also have a sense of colours. Will you tell me how to paint the balloon?” --- And after a few strokes of brush by herself, she admitted her limitation and Viju’s strong point, “Viju, you only can paint better. You can see I am on the verge of spoiling the lantern”.

Viju didn’t need any more prompting. With bold strokes and creatively offbeat colour combinations and colour mixing, she painted the lantern.

My son concentrated on inflating two more big spherical balloons and ten small egg shaped balloons. Then he concentrated on the technicalities of drying the balloon (which was now ready with painting), puncturing it and fixing the bulb with holder to it with electric wire.

We all were busy in making more lanterns while Swamini watched from a distance and helped us in small things, like giving the string to me when required, diluting the fevicol solution, cleaning the pallet, suggesting a colour combination, etc.

We produced not only one lantern but at least twelve lanterns. Though it was not in our (i.e. my daughter’s) plan earlier, we decided to fit all these lanterns in a row. It was past midnight, may be 3.00 a.m.

When my son switched on the lights, we couldn’t believe ourselves- so many lanterns with different shapes and emitting a vast range of colourful lights.

I shall never forget the joy of Swamini, her jumping around herself, her praising, her appreciation (“Dada - The lanterns were possible only because you inflated the balloons, Aai - How we would have made lanterns without the material? Viju - You brought the grace to these lanterns with your painting, Baba – It is a skill to wound the strings around the balloon, it was a difficult task.”)

We unanimously told her that it is Swamini’s Lantern, because she took the initiative.

We all utilized our skills to make the lantern but Swamini took initiative, empowered us, delegated the responsibilities, monitored our progress with a helping hand where necessary and showed the ability to use our skills to her benefit.

The next day onwards, many people would stop on the road and would look towards these lanterns since they looked attractive in daylight as well.

People spend years to learn in their young age, implement their knowledge in their middle age and write books after acquiring wisdom. I may not be in a position to comment upon my implementation or about writing books, but yes, I admit that I learnt many things from my daughter, in one night.

An Artist

Whenever I go to Wai, I go to our Padmavati’s temple in our village Ozarde, sit at a quiet corner and concentrate on this tree when various thoughts come in my mind in rapid succession. This tree knows me and my mind for many years, since I was a boy. This tree reminds me about a great artist whom I know personally very well and whose friendship I cherish.

I do not know when I came in contact with him first. Since I remember, he is always there. He is a born artist. The best part (and sometimes the worst too) of the born artists is that they do not believe in self-propagating themselves as artists. That is required for those who are not born artists but who have to earn a livelihood as an artist.

I remember the cold January last year (2013) when we were in Vesta Bikaner Palace outside the Bikaner City in Rajasthan, just returned in the evening after seeing the Camel Breeding Centre and were discussing about the Artist’s journey till today. It was 23^rd of January and he had just turned 60! How fast the time passes!

It is said that a money-hungry man cannot become an artist. He is always interested in numbers and behind that concept (or those papers) what we call as money.

There is another set of people, who are normally saints or artists. Their traits are quite different and they have nothing to do with this existing materialistic world. They prefer their own path – if not early, later on. But they try to live their lives the way they desire, the way they want.

We, the mortals, always fall in between, and since we are unable to do many extremes in our lives, we call living such a life as a balanced living. Now and then there may come a comparison between this artist and myself – I want to become like him, but can’t. He has a great deal of patience to wait till perfectness whereas I expect everything within a few minutes after it gets conceived.

I saw a latest Hindi movie:”Rockstar”. The theme of this movie attracted me. It is – ‘one has to experience lots of suffering to become a matured artist’.

XXX OOO XXX

Is it a universal pattern that an artist has to go through all the torturous phases of the life till their extremes? Also is it a universal pattern where there is a same type of creation, though places are different, mediums are different and time frames are different? I remember a visit a few years back to Karmarkar Shilpalaya, Sasawane, during a trip to Alibaug. One sculpture, a mother feeding a baby, attracted me.

And now you see the same expression, but in different form, a picture given by this artist to his daughter when she was pregnant.

After he passed SSC, coming 50^th in the first 50 in board, he wanted to join J.J. School of Architecture in Mumbai. His parents wanted him to become an Engineer or a Doctor. But they, being in the Education Field, also knew that it is not correct to impose their views on their children. The old university rules came in between and it was told that he has to take Geography as another subject since Arithmetic (even with 100/100 marks) do not count. He was not ready to spend another 6 months or a year for doing this - It never occurred that actually he should have exactly done that.

He joined P.D. (today’s 11^th Standard), appeared for IIT entrance exam and got selected. But he was getting “Civil” and he wanted “Mechanical”. He lost the chance - and India a Civil Builder…

He took B-Group at FY level (today’s 12^th Standard) with Biology as a major and again made a mistake. Due to less marks in Chemistry Practical, he got aggregate 69%. Again there was a waiting list, which was gradually getting reduced. He again joined A-Group for FY by changing the medical stream to engineering stream, went for a few months and then unexpectedly got admission to B.J. Medical College in Pune. That was after 6 months since the admission process had started. He couldn’t compete with the other students for the immediate exams and had to give both the semesters’ exams in one semester only – which he did successfully. Here his persistence and patience came in hand.

As one begins his journey in a direction, suddenly he realizes that all the roads lead to the same destination. Then a good mathematician becomes a good physicist or a good astrologer --- same is with what we call as “ART”. An artist is an artist almost in all the fields, he devotes most of his time to the things he likes most, but that doesn't stop him in exploring the other avenues. Then a painter can be a good singer or a stage artist associated with acting can be a great sculptor.

At B.J. Medical College, he found that he can write, he can act, he can direct and he can also give music. He tried all these techniques at various foray – either Purushottam Karandak One Act Play competitions or in Dropper’s Organization (formed by energetic youth in 1970s). That period in B.J. Medical College was a good one and he got lots of like-minded friends.

He learned Sitar during this period. He also attended many music programs and got totally engrossed in it.

XXX OOO XXX

Nothing lasts for a long period. While studying, he realized that he has made a mistake of choosing this path and now he do not have the courage, at least at that time, to choose his path differently. He became a doctor – a Gynecologist.

He opened dispensaries in Pune, joined a famous Nursing Home, and did whatever is required to be done for earning money. This was the first time when he realized that even if he likes it or not, even if he is not behind it and even if it is suffocating him, he had to earn money.

After a few years, with wife and children he shifted to his native taluka place where his uncle had an established general practice. His uncle felt better and took risk of opening a Nursing Home, which flourished well within a short span of time. His gynecology skills and his uncle’s pediatric skills were very much complimentary to each other.

Every passing day create challenges in front of us. After the sudden demise of his uncle due to heart attack, and the things that followed, there was nothing but a continuous mental torture that he had to face. He knows money as a tool for everything – acquiring, spending, expanding, even buying peace. But why did it not get in to his head that money is everything - be it related to any external factors or our own? Here our wave lengths do not match. As I have told earlier, I am a mortal being and he is an artist.

XXX OOO XXX

I am very much interested in movies. They are various fascinating entities and they create a magnetic atmosphere during their creation which catches the best of best artists in various fields to their fold. Like me, this artist is also interested in movies and if I boast a library of say 2000 movies, he has got a library of 10,000 movies. He once shared a movie “La Belle Noiseuse” of actress Emmanuelle Beart.

Once I saw it, the actress, even though one of the best, got faded out and I got linked with the main actor, Michel Piccoli, who is ‘an artist’ in that movie. His agony, his restlessness, his creation as well as his destruction, and his devotion to get involved in his project with full force … everything seemed familiar to me. I have seen the same zeal in this artist too quite often.

He is a combination of both – exceptional brilliance and patience! I have seen him doing something of his interest - leaving all of his surrounding and entering in to some new world – for hours together. He has those hand movements through which when he touches the pencil on the paper, the shapes on paper are defined by his hand.

Super Perfect!

My pencil always drew a triangle when I wanted to draw a circle!

He has handled many mediums. He has carved in the wood, in stone.

He drew many landscapes in water colours, oil paints and pastel colours. He created story books.

Latest creations of his are done with collage technique.

His house too has got an artistic touch.

One particular picture (shown below) is so special that it does not lose its charm even if it is held upside down.

XXX OOO XXX

Through his advises to his patients, he tells about the healthy living. One day he felt, “Why not start an institution?” The thought immediately got converted to action. His wife helps him in this endeavor. As part of his mission, he now takes many lectures in schools and colleges on the basic theme of stress free living. How does this fall in his overall picture, I do not know. But I think it is necessary and mandatory.

He has gifted many of his creations to many people. The concept of “selling” never occurred to him. Now he is preparing a picture for me. Though I have told him the subject – ‘serenity’, it is his artistic freedom which I do not want to encroach and whatever he gifts me, I am sure I shall like it.

I am most fortunate enough to have such a great artist as my elder brother. His name is Dr. Rajendra Prabhune.

Date: 25-04-2014
I published the above article about 4 months back. As demanded by me, he has given me a beautiful picture on the theme 'serenity'. I would like to add that the more appropriate new title for this picture shall be 'Evolution towards Serenity'.
 

Walking Tall Against The Rain

 

It was raining heavily. The whole atmosphere was grey.

As usual, I had come to my native place, Wai, in Diwali vacation. I was in 5^th standard. Wai, a slightly big village, a taluka place, is situated in a beautiful valley. A road from Wai leads to Mahabaleshwar, a famous hill station.

We have a farm here about 10 km near Wai, some odd 8 Hectares (around 18 to 20 Acres) of land. On one edge of this farm flows one offshoot of Krishna River.

OOOO     XXXX     OOOO     XXXX     OOOO

My grandfather, we all called him ‘Appa’, was a school teacher. He also looked after this farm in his spare time. He had an old cycle (which I used while in college). He went to the farm almost daily, sometimes stayed there, and was generally very happy in getting integrated with it. He was a self-reliant and strong man of wisdom. His posture was very straight. When he walked, he had that grace which we see in a Lion or a Tiger. His royal face had too many wrinkles, each line depicting the hardships which he had faced in his earlier life. His body was athletic; his hands and legs very strong with thick skin on palms of his hands and soles of his feet. He had a great stamina. He liked to cook his own food when he stayed on farm. He preferred to remove the puncture of the cycle tube by himself. He was never afraid of anything, even a snake – a common reptile in the farm. People fondly called him ‘Master’, which he was. They took advice from him.

My grandmother, Aaji, was known as Nagutai in that village since her birth was on Nagpanchami, a Marathi festival known for worshipping Nag or snake Cobra. She had a fascination to read books and was very knowledgeable with latest information. She was also a good poet and sung poems instantaneously. She was also a good organizer and had a club where the women used to learn singing. She was a practical and witty person. She also had a knack of discriminating between right and wrong. She always had an answer to a question, and an equally strong and opposite question for a question if she sensed the typically bend intention. Nobody crossed her. Her social awareness was also at a heightened state. She was very meticulous in keeping books of sold goods from our farm, like wheat, jwari, bajari and many such grains, cereals, turmeric, beans, groundnut, rice, and later on sugarcane. But she distributed some to needy women without any expectations and without a word to anyone. When my father brought his friend ‘Bapu’ (not his real name) from his school at home and told Aaji that Bapu will be with us till his education gets complete, she personally saw to it that Bapu is well fed. She considered Bapu as one of her sons. He completed his education. In later years, in Pune, Bapu used to come to our place quite often. He started a courier service business in Pune and it flourished well.

In those days, money was a scarce commodity and hence always a necessity - it was always short as a resource. One thing, though, was ample. Food! Our farm never let us short on that count. When my father came first in National Scholarship, Aaji took the bold decision to move from Ozarde to Wai so that my father shall have a good education. Her younger twin sons were also growing up. Later on my both uncles got admission to medical college, completed their education and became very famous in their respective field, one as a Head of Pathology Dept. in Medical College of Jamnagar, Ahmedabad and then in Baroda, while the other as a child specialist and started his clinics in Wai along with various social activities. But at that time, the situation was so bad that Appa was ready to hypothecate the farm for some loan amount offered by his friend. Aaji sensed the trap when she came to know about it. She got extremely angry and vehemently opposed the move. She sold all the accumulated gold to raise the money for education of her children. Her philosophy was simple. What is the use of this gold if we can’t use it at proper times? Within next twenty years Appa gradually purchased many gold ornaments for her, the sum total was quite bigger than what she had sold.

Our farm is handled by a family who are famous for their royalness. I like this family very much. Today’s men in politics who get everything as a privilege and who consider themselves as the rightful owner of that privilege by virtue of their caste, should really see this family. They will understand the meaning of royalness. The head of this family, Khushabarao, was a friend of my grandfather, and never took disadvantage of grabbing the land even when it was possible to him legally. He had his own land and he said,

“What answer should I give in Gods darbar? This land is not mine”.

The fourth generation of this family is coming up which is more acquainted with my son. But this royalness is not at all diluted after so many years. At that time, Ramchandra, the son of Khushabarao, who was of the same age as my father, was looking after our farm.

I always preferred to go to my native place in my long holidays. I liked to play Chess and had two partners staying opposite our house at my native place, Madan and Manoj. They too had similar liking and we used to play for hours together. I was in that age when nothing made me afraid. Fear gets instilled in our minds as we grow up. I liked roaming around. Everyone talked with me. Many times I didn’t know who they were, but they all knew that I am Appa’s or Nagutai’s grandson.

There was a staircase leading to a room above the kitchen. The staircase was very well hidden behind a closed door. This room was always my attraction. I used to cover my nose by a handkerchief and spend a lot of time in that dust filled darkened room. There were many objects of interest in that room. A harmonium, one table watch, many books, an old radio, many cough syrup cans, syringes, various empty but good quality plastic boxes of medicines, … and many more such objects. They fascinated me.

OOOO     XXXX     OOOO     XXXX     OOOO

This vacation of Diwali was different. Due to “aadhik maas” (an adjustment of time period in the calendar), Diwali was in November. It was also the last year of the famous three year draught (may be 1967 or 1968) Mr. Vyankatesh Madgulkar had written in one of his books describing this draught,

“People began to leave villages for survival.”

There was practically no rain for the last three years. Aaji’s grain stock had depleted considerably. But this year at least there was some rain to have something. Then came winter when the dew drops are sufficient for the crops. This year this winter situation was good since there was ample moisture in the air.

One day I had gone, as usual, on the ghats of the Krishna River when I realized that the atmosphere is changing rapidly. Till the time I came home, I was totally wet. I had observed the real lashing power of the rain for the first time.

After that for the next four days I was stuck up in the house. After second day, Appa became visibly restless. In that big house, he was wandering from the hall through the long passage and equally big open hall up to the main gate. From there he used to come in the kitchen and sit near the small puja (worship) place. Again after ten minutes he used to repeat the same routine. At one point of time he began to change his clothes. Aaji stopped him by saying,

“Don’t go just now. Let the rains stop.”

Appa replied,

“Don’t you understand what must be happening there in our farm?”

“What are you going to do even if you go there today?”

There was no answer. Aaji then made him tea. Both were silent for a long time.

Then Appa said,

“At least Ramchandra should have told me the status”.

“Where first will he look after, his own farm or ours? What is he going to do even if he goes to our farm?”

The next day afternoon Ramchandra came to our house. The heavy torrential rains had not stopped. Krishna River was flooded. The whole dark atmosphere along with the continuous sound of rain was creating a very depressing mood. It was admirable that Ramchandra had come to our house in such rain.

Over a cup of tea, Aaji asked many indirect questions and he gave indirect and short answers.

“How are legs of your mother?” – His mother’s knees gave trouble in rainy days.

“As usual.”

“Was there water flowing over the bridge?”

“I came from north-side bridge”.

“What are the chances?”

“Rains …”

Later, after tea, he indicated Appa that now he will go. Obviously he didn’t want to talk in front of Aaji. As soon as Appa started to go along with Ramchandra in our big open hall, Aaji, with firmness in her voice, told Ramchandra to speak everything in her presence. Dejectedly he sat and told,

“What is there to tell? What is going to happen in such rain coming at such odd times?”

After a few minutes he left. But those were the longest few minutes, because everyone was in his own thoughts.

As soon as he left, Aaji began her normal routine activities to make lunch. Suddenly she burst out. Her whole body was shaking when she was roasting bhakaris on the chullah. She was trying not to make any noise, and for that she pressed her sari in her mouth. It was too much for her to digest. This was the first season after three years where there were some hopes. While wiping her tears by her sari, she said,

“Why …?”

Appa allowed her to cry for some time. Then he said,

“Don’t worry, have patience. Everything will be okay tomorrow.”

What was to be okay tomorrow? Nothing! But such words have a very powerful soothing effect.

Rains stopped somewhere in midnight. New day brought sunshine. Appa began to prepare to go on the farm. I was also fed up sitting in the house. I asked Appa whether he will take me.

“Don’t come. I am going for work”

“Let him accompany you. You both go in the afternoon after lunch” – Aaji said.

Aaji’s word was final. Reluctantly Appa took me along with him. We went to bus stand and immediately got the bus. A road leads to our farm from the main road around two kilometers from Ozarde. The bus driver knew Appa and dropped us exactly at that location.

As soon as we left the main road, I found out that we can visualize something like a road leading to the farm. The first foot went knee deep. I had never seen such type of mud till then. Appa removed his chappals and I followed him by inserting my sandals in my two hands. At least if I fall down, my sandals will touch the ground first. But there was very remote chance to fall down. To remove the leg from the mud and again to put it in the mud in forward direction required some practice. Gradually I became habitual and then I didn’t worry at all about the mud.

Seeing the other people’s farms on both sides of the road, it was easy to guess the condition of our farm. It was exactly as I had guessed. Total devastation! The yields, just a month away, were destroyed. Ramchandra was there and he showed us the exact nature of destruction. Even if there is any yield, the black jwari was useless to everyone. Other crops had the same fate. Unfortunately there was nothing to be done but to wait for the next season.

We turned back after two hours and came to main road. Everywhere the branches of the trees were seen fallen on the main road. Instead of going towards Ozarde, we started towards Wai. Appa said that we will get a going bus in-between. We put our footwear on. I shall never forget that long journey. Nature’s cruelty gets highlighted only when we are the actual sufferers. Appa was holding my right hand. I felt it good. After many years I realized that he also needed somebody’s support and my little hand gave it to him.

A bullock-cart came from behind. The owner of the cart was Appa’s friend. He said,

“Master, why did you bring your grandson along with you? (Kashala aanlat lekarala hikade Master?)”

He gave us the much needed lift up to the junction (phata). During that journey I came across many new words which I didn’t know earlier. All the adjectives were addressed to the rain. He was much stressed and had got a good listener in Appa to relieve his stress. From the junction within next twenty minutes we reached home again by walking.

We were exhausted. It was late evening. Aaji never uttered a word. Appa too was not in a talking mode. She had made hot and sweet Shira ready with bananas, the way Appa liked. After we cleaned ourselves, we ate that Shira. It is such a beautiful dish that we felt better. Still Aaji was quite. My little mind sensed that quietness. Once Appa went in the open hall, in a low voice she asked me all the details very pointedly.

I felt sleepy and went to bed a bit early. Appa was rubbing my feet when I was entering in to the sleep. Aaji was telling Appa,

“Let us consider that it was not ours. All the things happen for the better.”

Yesterday Appa was trying to reason with Aaji with soothing words. Today Aaji was comforting Appa.

OOOO     XXXX     OOOO     XXXX     OOOO

Too many years passed since Aaji and Appa passed away. Now I am at that middle phase when we begin not only to see the boundaries, but also identify and accept them as boundaries. This long journey had too many events. Some accidents happen. Right decisions taken prove to be disastrous as time passes and a lot of years of the life are robbed to come out of the failures caused by these decisions. Loss of near and dears have to be faced. There is anxiety about job security in global slow down situations.

Sometimes we enter in to that gloomy mood when we suddenly feel that we are bound at all fronts by everyone, but particularly by fate. Evening begin to make us introvert. With increasing level of maturity, we actually become those frustrated creatures who can’t shape their lives and always try to seek security from the fear of unknown!

Not always, but sometimes, in some instances it becomes unbearable. I feel that I am losing all my strength to fight. My wife recognizes my delicate mood. Without words! She keeps me away from every one. Even my children give me the privacy which I need badly. During dinner my wife makes my favorite kheer. At night she takes me in her arms and pats me on the back, the way a breast fed baby is patted by the mother….…

I do not realize how my silent crying gets converted in to sleep …….. And in my dream I see Appa and Aaji advising me,

“Don’t worry, have patience. Everything will be okay tomorrow.”

“Consider that it was not yours. All the things happen for the better.”

 

Those Golden Days

A song from Hindi movie “Aashayein”

Now it’s the time of brightness

Now is the breaking of dawn

Now, let me make my abode in the wind

Now, let me share my secret with the world

Now, let me soar in the skies

For in this moment, I want to live.

Why fear failure?

Why embrace death before living life?

My heart joyfully says to me,

As long as there is life, let there be zest for life

Now is the time to be determined

The time to sacrifice everything for a dream

For in this moment, I want to live.

OOO<><><>OOO<><><>OOO

A very few times a period comes in our lives when we remember every day, every event and every second of that period. The whole period – with a specific climax incident or a set of incidents - gets permanently itched in to our memory. Our passion in whatever we do is at a so heightened stage that nobody can detach us from this passion, at least in that period. The length of this period may vary in each individual’s life. Death within this period may be the ultimate ecstasy, and if we do not shape our lives in later years till again such period arises or we make it arise, what people may see of us is may be a mass of flesh, bones and blood, living in past glory. One may recall very touchy portraits of two Vastads written by our beloved Pu. La. Deshpande.

I spend such a beautiful period: from 2007 to 2010.

Realization that what we did was extra-ordinary in those days came late when I again re-entered in to the same old pattern of looking after only one of the attributes out of many successfully handled attributes as an In-charge of the unit. Now many days later, someone associated with those days meet me, we exchange pleasantries and invariably enter into the sweet memories of those days. Those Golden Days!

OOO<><><>OOO<><><>OOO

As I was expecting it, the proposal came one fine day from my boss to head an export oriented unit of our Company. I immediately gave my consent. My inner mind was telling me not to do so. It was only from that lethargic attitude which enters in our body, unknown to us, to eat our soul. Initially before taking this responsibility and subsequently in the earlier days of working as an In-Charge of the unit, I always had the feeling about whether I am making / had made a mistake. The environment was new. I had not got acquainted with the people in depth. I got frustrated every time when the things didn’t move as I wanted them to move. There was also an added personal dimension. My anxiety about my own success created a big lump of ice in my stomach.

But I am possessed with the greatest of the attributes – having two minds and the only thing favorable to me is my attitude to jump in to the lake of fear whenever such a lake got created in to my mind. What is there to lose if I refused this assignment? Nothing! Somebody else will take this job. I shall be contained in my safe sphere. Why should I break this protective shell? But then isn’t it an opportunity? All these conflicting thoughts pointed me to various escape routes which I desired initially. At the same time I was eager to take the new responsibility ..... I love both these minds of mine and let them rule on me. This way there is no intra-personal conflict.

After my re-location, every time I secretly wished my boss, ADP, to come to help me. He too used to come weekly. One day I suddenly realized that if I really should stand on my own legs in this new responsibility and want to achieve something, I must stop the impulses of taking my Boss’s help every now and then. The best way to do this is to talk directly with him, which I did. The greatness of my boss is that he immediately agreed to limit his visits, sensing my difficulty, only with a word of caution and a request that he is available whenever I need him. I felt that I am fortunate on this one single most and important aspect - having a good boss. Later he did helped me on many occasions. One particular set of events itched on my mind is related to special technical and safety audits by a prestigious Client by coming weekly for monitoring the “TO DO” lists prepared by us.

OOO<><><>OOO<><><>OOO

One very good thing also happened to me. Full credit goes to VKB. Earlier I had worked under him. Later after a few years, he came as a consultant. His mission: Change Management! The many sessions of him that I attended made a tremendous impact on me. I began to believe that some change has been done in my personality when my family members began to say that I have changed. His advices were born through wisdom. Himself being a highly educated person, with high technical and logical mind, and having a vast experience in varied fields, he seldom talked about any technical subjects. He was more focused on ‘Human Beings’, their behavioral patterns, empathy, unlimited potentials in every human being, their interpersonal relationships and factors influencing these, effective communication, self-esteem, harsh truthful realities of life, pain, emotions, the common traps which engulf the humans, and many more such topics. Gradually a bond began to develop between us which is as strong as steel and exists even today.

Some mails received from him and reproduced here can throw some light on his personality.

1] Mail from VKB, after going through the performance in a particular year…

“dear MILIND  vow vow
heartiest congratulations to ur team for such a commendable performance. Ur team is so dynamic, what u have achieved is nothing for them. Capable of doing much much more, they will never let down in any assignment time to come.
God bless u all.
Ingratitude”

2] Another mail:

“PL DON`T DISAPPOINT MANAGEMENT ON ALL THE FRONTS.
PL BE IN TOUCH.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
WITH LOTS LOTS LOVE”

3] A unique mail of VKB giving Diwali wishes:

“Hi loving ones

PREAMBLE

AS WE KNOW...WE ATTRACT RESPONSE ON WHAT WE THINK (law of attraction)

THESE THOUGHTS HAS GOT DEFINATE RELEVANCE ON OUR SUCCESS AND PROSPERITY ON OUR LIFE AND FAMILY

Therefore

FROM THIS NEW YEAR WE WILL NOT COMPLAIN,

NO RESENTMENT AND NO GRIEVANCE.

WHY.

COMPLAINING IS FAVOURITE STRATEGY TO JUSTIFY FAILURE AND STRENGHTENING OF SELF THUS MIND MAKES UP STORIES.

ALOUD OR THOUGHT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE

IT IS PART OF EGO WHICH EVERY ONE LOVES IT WITHOUT REALISING IT DRAINS OUT UR ENERGY...MAKING U SUSCEPTIBLE TO DREADFUL DISEASE

SO

ONE HAS TO BE AWARE OF THOUGHTS

·         BE IN STATE OF WITNESS

·         FORGIVE AND OVERLOOK

·         NON REACTING IS NOT UR WEAKNESS BUT UR STRENGTH

·         REMOVE THE BAGGAGE OF OLD THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS...MIND SET˙ON DOING

·         FEEL THE INNERBODY TO GENERATE ENERGY

·         IF REQUIRED, FACTS SHOULD BE NARRATED WITH OUT JUDGEMENT

RESULT

·         LIGHT AND FRESH IN MIND

·         CREATIVE MIND

·         EACH CELL OF UR BODY IS FULL OF JOY

·         WINNING THE WAR OVER MIND SET

·         COME OUT FROM INADEQUACY

·         FINALLY U WILL ENJOY BLISSFUL LIFE WITH LOT OF SUCCESS

·         HAPPINESS AROUND U WILL SPREAD LIKE INFECTION THUS MAKE OTHERS HAPPY

From desk of vkb”

On one occasion he also sends some photos to highlight the point of “innovation”. Two of these I have reproduced below.

Sometimes we come across the people, who outwardly seem very difficult but as our interactions increase, exact opposite is there for our pleasant surprise. Boss of my boss was ALT at that time. He influenced me for his very blunt straightforwardness, understanding and evaluating aptitude and crisp communication. He is never afraid of putting the things straight and do not like ‘politically correct’ talk. He used to be aware of exact problem and I always felt free to communicate with him even on any of the topics which he never liked. I took his help whenever I felt that he is the only person who can help me. He also guided me and brought me on ground to prevent my floating when he sensed it. I like his ‘one liners’ in the communication.

Two very interesting communications between us through mail are given below:

1] MPP to Other Dept. Head, with cc to ALT:

We were facing some minor teething problems, which now are becoming major ones. ..…[Problem Statements] …...Kindly look in to the matter to suggest suitable solutions very immediately.

ALT to MPP:

Do you have any solution in sight?

MPP to ALT:

One solution is to depute Mr. XYZ at my Unit till the solutions are found. He may be useful to trouble-shoot below given problems by coordinating among the concerned Key Users.

ALT to MPP:

Who stops you from doing this by ourselves?

2] Reply of ALT on one of my mails send at one year end indicating that the targets are achieved and also appreciating the efforts of all the service departments:

Congrats! Did you meet the planned targets for the first time?

I got the message.

OOO<><><>OOO<><><>OOO

One question troubled me in those days. What is it that I should take pride in myself? Gradually I began to realize that there are too many good qualities which I possess and some which I have to develop. I concentrated first on “Pride Qualities” which I sincerely thought with conviction that I possess.

Strong binding towards commitment is the first of such qualities which also called for a very deep involvement. It is not that I never failed in my commitments. There were many drastic failures. But every failure pricked me for a “re-bouncing effect” which resulted in pro-active actions on future projects. I realized that for any major material or process there are many heads “looking after” the matter. Poking my nose in to such matters do not add much value. But there are some certain areas, like pressure gauge not functioning during testing, pump failure, water shortage, non-availability of C class items like hardware, specific painting requirement, missing of a minor parallel process of sub-assembly fabrication, clouds in sky indicating heavy rainfall, region specific festival blocking all the roads, etc. which are often overlooked. Rather a trend gets developed to treat these as non-avoidable entities in the whole volume of work, the control of which is presumed to be not in our hands. I began to concentrate on these areas and astonishingly my failure chances showed diminishing trend. This can be compared to walking through the jungle infested with lots of snakes and wild creatures when our every sense attains a highest level to tune to the surrounding environment.

Absorbing all my team mates as “my fellows” with full and total acceptance along with their good qualities and bad, proved to be highly beneficial, particularly working in unison for the pre-determined objectives and under pressure of deliveries. I realized that I had this knack of identifying the strength points of each individual and explore these for such objectives. It also answered my question posed earlier to self about why a person gets stamped. Many times there is not enough time available to bosses to find and acknowledge such strength points and allocate a work suitable to get the benefit of these points. A stamped person then always gets treated in the same conventional manner. We must think that existence of each and every person on this planet earth has got meaning for contribution of some thing or the other which can be beneficial to this earth. My each and every team mate performed extra-ordinarily. Gradually a sort of belongingness also developed within them. I always feel gratitude towards them.

Dinkar, Ajit, Akbar, Zuber, Uttam, Ravindra, Ramesh, Rajendra, Hemant, Bhanudas, 2 Vijays, Prashant, Satish, Gajanan, Vilas, Milind, Ashutosh, Ambarish, Balasaheb, Somnath, Pravin, Narendra, Abhay, Nilesh, Avinash, Sagar, Charudatta … the memories of all of my team mates are floating like smooth waves just now in my mind. This very strong team – earlier got neglected for some reason or the other – proved to be the most valuable result givers and trusted elements of my unit as well as my Company. I had many of the achieved key result areas through my team in my kitty, which, in most of the cases, I was able to use very effectively for their further just enhancements. 

I was good at planning. I had to improve on execution. But it automatically became an easy task due to my commitment and involvement. My almost all the decisions were instantaneous and mostly based on intuition and common sense. No matter was ever kept lingering with me. I realized steadily that this is a very unique quality that I possess and which is extremely beneficial for running the show. Another aspect of my character, unknown to me earlier, is that, extracting the good meaning of it, I am an excellent manipulator. Acceptance and approval of all of my decisions by my subordinates as well as my superiors required this type of skill. But it benefited the Company. I got help and support from all of the service departments, their bosses and also from my other units.

The main key is: Give ample of desired credit to everyone and let the others too know objectively about who did what. Astonishingly, everyone, including top level, is hungry for the recognition. One method I usually employ (which actually I should not tell): Identify a doer – who is proficient and capable of the area where my idea or a decision is to be implemented for a particular task. Induce my thoughts in to his mind, by provoking his mind to act as per my direction, slowly say, what a brilliant idea it is that he has devised, and go on appreciating that person’s ‘brilliant idea’ in public. One thing is needed to be kept in mind. You must be completely able to lose your ego. You have to keep this in mind that you are not going to get the credit. But look for the results which you desire! This is very difficult, I know. Nobody is ready to come out of such thought as “I did this” and able to give credit of the things to others, even if one has initiated it.

Given below is a typical set of statements made by one of my friends of some other department a few years back to show how "I" works:

“You know, it was a mess, I tell you. God only can tell about what could have happened if I wouldn’t have been there. There was a total chaos. Nobody knew what to do. I had to intervene. I had to take all the things in my hand. I sorted out everything. I told everyone what to do. They are not at all competent. Since then I have been given this responsibility, since they know that only I can handle it. Any other substitute? Never ever think of it. Who is there but me? …”

Everything in above statement is centered on this "I" of that person. Like ... "I am right and all others are wrong". Every person has got this "I" in varying percentage. Invoking this "I" towards a channelized direction is all one needs to achieve the results.

Often empowerment is a liked word in the industry for talking. Transparent and total communication, delegation, faith in one’s capabilities and accountability are other such words. For me these interlinked words automatically took shape in whole of our system. I didn’t have any false self-ego concepts. There were always one-to-one as well as group discussions for any new project, plan, activity, program and everyone was aware of his role in it. This resulted in reduction in follow-up activities too since everyone used to be aware, with clarity, of what he is required to do and when. Often automatically everyone feels that he too is involved in the whole process including decision making process and gradually he begins to feel the ownership of his own actions. ‘Accountability’ factor is then not required to be talked. It automatically comes. Whenever any deviations arose in shop during work within a group, the same were discussed - with solutions not only within that group but also involving the other groups for making them aware too for future non-occurrences. Gradually the percentage of NCRs decreased. The number of accidents too decreased. On the spot short meetings of 10-15 minutes not only helped facilitating the future course of action but also developed camaraderie.

Some qualities I didn’t have. The two biggest of these were “Listening Skill” and “Holding Back”. VKB pointed out this drawback in me. These were the most important qualities that I gradually developed. Once I acquired them, I found that most of my wishes got fulfilled. Even when I failed sometimes, these qualities helped me in soliciting support – from my team mates, from Bosses, from other departments and also from my Clients. My earlier attitude of immediate reaction reduced considerably. In any interpersonal conflicts, I used to listen from both the parties and then call them together and provoked them to talk face-to-face. Very gradually these problems got sorted out automatically without my interference.

I also begin to understand that many people surrounding me were watching me. My behavior, the signals which I am sending out, my reactions to various different situations, my ethics, my likes and dislikes, whether I myself follow all the rules, even my appearance – everything was under scrutiny. Hence I learnt to have a control on all these aspects.

OOO<><><>OOO<><><>OOO

Gradually credibility that we can deliver as per quality norms and within stringent delivery schedules began to increase. All our team’s self-motivation level increased up to such an extent that we began to feel that nothing is impossible for us.

A big blow was to come of which we were totally unaware of and also were totally unprepared. One political party, to enhance its own image and to gain cheap popularity, started a regional war of differentiating people as per their roots. Within no time many of our non-state workers left and the strength came to half. Month of February and March proved to be most crucial and whatever solutions we tried to find, each one of them failed because the situation was same everywhere in the industry.

This incident, though, taught me not to be over-confidant about self-capabilities. I experienced a total helpless feeling. I used to imagine, like in school: ‘If I become a Prime Minister, then what I shall do…’ The thoughts cannot be reproduced here, but they gave me solace.

OOO<><><>OOO<><><>OOO

I want to admit one thing. Competition! It entered in to my mind through back door. Competition with my other units!!! I began to think how my unit can be different than the others – and decided some parameters for the improvement. Now I can say that this can be treated as healthy and that there is nothing wrong in it.

During these 3 years, there was nothing that we may have left unattended. The list of initiatives taken by my team is quite big. Some of them we termed as THE FIRST.

To name a few:

• Various accreditations,

• New record every year than the previous performance in terms of volume,

• Shortest deliveries,

• Enhanced quality and visible reduction in non-conformities,

• Improved aesthetics,

• Attaining and maintaining zero accidents - we got first prize and trophy of “Best Performance in Safety” within all of the manufacturing units of our Company.

• Following highest safety norms without compromise,

• Changeover to safe processes and innovative ways, innovation of various fixtures and devices

• Cost reduction,

• Housekeeping,

• Up-gradation of personnel through training regarding work practices with thrust on practical approach and awareness of wrong-doings for skills enhancement.

• Maintaining consistency by periodic self-auditing processes, like auditing of lifting tools & tackles, etc.

• Birthdays and wedding anniversaries celebration. (This idea got copied in other units –) …….......

[I wrote it just now and the thought popped up about how this “I” still in me flashes. Did you observe?]

My unit gained the status of “achiever” with the proper blend of teamwork. Appreciation, with photos, began to flow from various customers – internal as well as external. No one at this stage can afford to go back. Once this feeling is generated, it helps in sustenance of the systems. The long march then only has forward direction. One foreign guest, an MD of the Company reputed for the highest safety standards in Europe, commented to me,

“Your shop is as good as any excellent fabrication facility in Europe”.

OOO<><><>OOO<><><>OOO

As I have stated earlier, learning is a process through the path of mistakes. But one mistake still keeps me haunting. I was expecting the Topmost Bosses to come to my factory and see the results, appreciated by foreigners, because seeing is believing. Whatever I desired, I got. But it is also necessary to have a pat! How can I and my team escape from that feeling? But I consider that I am responsible for this mistake. It never occurred to me to invite the Topmost Bosses. Who else was going to take that action but me?

Every start is followed by an end. The reasons are various, even logical. It is what we define as a “Life Cycle”. We say, “For in this moment, I want to live - forever.” The moment is followed by another, and another, and yet another ...... during some discussion in a weekly review meeting I say, “…but we did like this…” which shoots me back in to those days and I say to myself,

“…Oh, those golden days”.